The Date
by TwinOfDoom
Summary: I suck at titles (and summaries). Ever since New Earth, Chakotay hasn't managed to quell those feelings for his captain.
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer****: **All treknology, all characters and so on, belong to their rightful owners. I'm just borrowing them for the purpose of writing this story (and others like it). I own nothing and I'm not making any profit from the writing of all this.

**A/N****: **I haven't marked the POV switches especially, but it should be obvious nonetheless. It's a pretty fluffy story interspersed with some smut, that will be more than 10 chapters long. The M rating is for adult themes and acts.

* * *

Getting to know Kathryn Janeway was by no means an easy goal to accomplish. Chakotay had accepted that long ago and had learned to appreciate the captain's withdrawn manner when it came to personal matters. When they had set out on this unparalleled mission together, he'd had to earn her trust, but as the years passed, Chakotay and Janeway had grown to rely and depend on each other's company and counsel. And ever since New Earth, he'd been able to get a glimpse beneath her mask every now and then. Still, though, finding out her likes and dislikes was mostly a game of trial and error, Chakotay mused as he watched her take her first bite of terranut soufflé.

This recipe seemed like a success, for the captain's face lit up instantly. She let out a small moan and then met Chakotay's eye, a slightly embarrassed grin playing around her lips. The commander felt himself smile as well. He loved bringing her joy and making her smile, and ever since their stint on that planet a few years ago, he'd made it one of his duties. There was so little in this part of space that was enjoyable. Hirogen hunting parties, Malon freighters, the Borg, and Species 8472 had made these past months a test of all of their mettle. At least these weekly dinners were helping him reassert his friendship with Kathryn. He had caught himself using her first name more and more often lately, and he just hoped that there was enough of a Starfleet officer still in him to keep him from calling her Kathryn in front of the crew.

If he was being honest, though, he was beginning to feel that just being friends wasn't enough for him anymore. He blamed the New Earth incident, like he so often did, for the way he felt about his commanding officer. Back then, Kathryn had been forced to relinquish command of Voyager to Tuvok, because she and Chakotay had contracted an alien virus. They had spent months isolated on that beautiful planet and Chakotay had quickly begun to accept their fate and had tried to build a home for the two of them. After a storm that had wrecked their research equipment, Kathryn had finally come around to his way of thinking, and they had become increasingly familiar with one another. At several times during their stay, Chakotay had wanted to confess his attraction, but when he had finally mustered up the courage to tell her in the form of a story, Voyager had contacted them with a cure shortly after, and Kathryn's mask had slipped back into place. They'd never had time to take things further than a talk. Chakotay still sometimes dreamed of that moment, conjuring up a slightly different scenario, where, upon hearing his confession, she looked into his eyes with that expression of compassion and affection, and kissed him.

Thinking about those dreams now, Chakotay felt his throat tighten at the lost opportunity, and coughed slightly to get rid of the feeling. He longed to build that kind of intimacy between them again, and recent developments had made him once again hopeful. When they had pulled that data stream off the Hirogen array, Kathryn had received word that her fiancé Mark had married another woman. Chakotay had felt decidedly guilty when she had told him, and distinctly remembered the excitement burning in his belly when she had said that her safety net for avoiding intimate relations was gone now. The spark of hope had sustained him, but it had also grown into a fire by now that was urging him to push the issue. Kathryn had looked up when he had cleared his throat, and was still regarding him from half-lidded eyes. She was clearly comfortable in his presence. Should he really jeopardise that by admitting that he still had feelings for her?

He decided against it for now, not wanting to destroy her sugar high. Instead, he got up and poured some more wine.

That night's dream was new. He was thrown in halfway through a heated session of lovemaking. He knew that he was dreaming as soon as he spotted Earth's moon reflected in Kathryn's eyes, but that didn't mean he couldn't enjoy it while it lasted. Chakotay just let the dream unfold, revelling in his pleasure, until he was woken rather abruptly by the Doctor's voice coming from the computer interface that stood open on his desk.

"Rise and shine, Commander. I hope I'm not interrupting any pleasant dreams."

Chakotay quickly pulled the blankets up to cover the evidence of just how pleasant his dream had been, and sat up. "What is it, Doctor?" He asked, trying to banish the annoyed edge from his voice, and failing miserably. In the dream, Chakotay had just been about to climax, so he felt extremely grumpy at being woken.

The Doctor raised one holographic eyebrow at his tone, but let it slide. "I'd appreciate it if you could stop by Sickbay on your way to the bridge. I need to conduct a routine exam, and you have the good fortune of being one of the first in both rank and the alphabet." The hologram's air of entitlement made him promise to head right down. He waited until the call had been ended before he got up and padded over to the sonic shower. He was still painfully hard, though, so he allowed himself an indulgence that Tom Paris might have referred to as 'waxing the Buick'. Not that he had any intention of ever bringing up such a topic in Tom's presence. He found that thinking about Tom didn't exactly help him 'get there', so he turned his mind onto much more pleasant things. Like the kiss that never was, or the way Kathryn had felt against his naked body. It might have been a dream, but Chakotay had the fortune of having exceedingly vivid dreams, and so it didn't take him long to finish, breathing Kathryn's name as he came.

He kept his eyes closed for a minute, hoping to see how his dream counterpart and its lover would behave post-coitally, but the vision vanished, leaving him back in his bathroom, leaning heavily against the shower wall and feeling rather cold. Chakotay sighed. "Computer, activate sonic shower."

Chakotay decided not to keep the Doctor waiting any longer and left his quarters a mere ten minutes later with his jacket over his arm. The turbolift took him safely to deck five, and he was just zipping up his uniform jacket as the Sickbay doors hissed open, and the captain hurried out into the corridor. Chakotay was surprised. Usually, the Doctor had to drag her in for her check-ups. She didn't appear to notice him, however, and headed off in the opposite direction. Chakotay was relieved, because he could already feel an uncharacteristic blush creeping into his cheeks. The thought of his actions in the shower was still very fresh in his mind, making it difficult to rein in his emotions.

The first officer tried to clear his head and entered Sickbay, finding it empty apart from the Doc. The hologram was waiting, tricorder in hand. "Well, I think I should try my hand at inventing some new procedures today. The captain AND the first officer are summoned for an examination and actually show up. It's a minor miracle." The Doctor's dry wit and the beeping of the medical tricorder took Chakotay's mind off carnal pleasures and infatuations. At least for a while.

"I say, Commander, you must be feeling wonderful this morning. I'm detecting above average levels of oxytocin and prolactin, as well as elevated endorphin levels."

The blush returned, much more pronounced this time. He was trying to think of something to say that would explain the Doctor's findings.

"Don't be embarrassed, Commander. There is no shame in auto-eroticism. In fact -"

Chakotay hurried to excuse himself before he'd have to hear about the EMH's sexual experiences. "Thanks, Doc. I'd really better get going. I'm due on the bridge."

Chakotay reached the bridge almost before he knew it and sat down next to the captain. She turned in her seat and leaned over to him. She looked slightly annoyed. "I always say that the day can only get worse if it starts in Sickbay."

Chakotay grinned. "The Doctor's at it again. He won't rest until he's got every molecule on board catalogued. Although I have to admit that I'm curious about his report."

Kathryn gave him a playful slap, sending a pleasant tingle through his body. "I wouldn't have taken you for a peeping tom." She said it jokingly, but in light of his latest dream, it elicited a pang of guilt in the Indian man. It must have shown, because Kathryn gripped his thigh and said: "I'm joking, Chakotay! Now, let's get exploring, shall we?"

Chakotay unconsciously put his hand on hers, and managed a smile. He couldn't quite decipher the look on Kathryn's face, but she didn't look as though she minded.

Suddenly feeling watched, Chakotay retrieved his hand and sat up straight in his chair. "Harry, anything on sensors?"

Harry jabbed at his controls. "Not much, Commander. I've got a pulsar about fifteen light years away, and I picked up an O9 supergiant in a nebula not far from there. There is also some localised neutron radiation, but it's well within tolerance."

Kathryn had gotten up and stridden over to Harry's station, checking his controls. "Should be worth a look. Helm, set a course!"

Most of their duty shift on the bridge passed uneventfully at high warp. At about 1600 hours, however, a crewman in a science uniform showed up to deliver a padd to the captain. Kathryn took it and scanned the heading. "Looks like the Doctor sped things up today. Care to join me in my ready room?" She asked Chakotay, her voice lowered seductively. Chakotay swallowed against his suddenly dry mouth and nodded. "Tuvok, you have the bridge."

With that, they withdrew to the comfortable ready room off the side of the bridge. Kathryn headed straight for the replicator and ordered two cups of coffee, handing one to Chakotay. He found himself admiring the gracefulness of her movements, and the way her hair kept falling into her eyes. Before he could stop himself, he reached out and brushed it back behind her ear, his hand lingering on her cheek. They stared into each other's eyes for a minute, before he cleared his throat and stepped away, gesturing toward the padd that hung forgotten at Kathryn's side. "So, what's the verdict? Are we a disease-riddled ship or what?"

Kathryn was still staring at him, however, not responding. Chakotay was just about to make some excuse to leave, when his combadge chirped. "Torres to Chakotay?"

He tapped the device dutifully. "Chakotay here."

"Could you come to the mess hall, please?"

Chakotay looked at Kathryn, silently asking her permission. The captain had turned away, and nodded very slightly. "Dismissed." It was barely more than a whisper.


	2. Chapter 2

Chakotay couldn't get the captain's face out of his mind during his walk to the mess hall. She had definitely looked shocked. Her big blue eyes had radiated pain and a loneliness that was almost palpable, even though her body signalled passivity. Chakotay was still dwelling on that paradox when he suddenly reached the double doors leading into Neelix's domain. B'Elanna was waiting for him, tricorder at the ready. "Hey, I've just detected a few spent power cells and I wanted to borrow Chapman from the bridge to help replace them." She glanced up at him when he didn't react. "Chakotay, what's wrong? No offence, but you look like hell."

Chakotay gave a dry laugh. "I suppose I do ... listen, B'Elanna, do you have a minute?"

B'Elanna nodded and put her tricorder away. "Of course, what is it?"

They sat down in the seats nearest the panorama windows and Chakotay immediately wondered if this was a mistake. "I'm not sure we should be talking about this. It's kind of personal."

The Half-Klingon burst out laughing. "Chakotay, it's me! I've told you about my sex dreams, so you should feel free to do the same," she winked, not realising that she was quite on target.

He smiled ruefully. "You're right, but it's a sensitive topic. I have to ask for your absolute discretion."

B'Elanna's grin faded. "Wait, you're serious? Sure, I'll keep my mouth shut."

Chakotay nodded, gathering his thoughts. "Okay, do you remember a few years ago, when I was infected with an alien virus?"

"Sure, you and Captain Janeway had to spend a good deal of time on an uninhabited planet. Frankly, I'd hate to think what would have happened if the Doctor's girlfriend hadn't come through for us."

Chakotay nodded again. "What none of the logs say, is that we came to regard the planet as our home, and the more time passed ... well, we were all we had ..." He trailed off, but he didn't have to say anything else.

B'Elanna's mouth had fallen open, her eyes huge. "Don't tell me you're in love with the captain?" Her whisper seemed abnormally loud, and Chakotay looked around to make sure no one had heard.

"Is that so hard to believe? We were ready to accept the possibility that we'd spend the rest of our lives there. And even though we ended up being rescued, those feelings never really went away ..."

B'Elanna still seemed shocked. "Well, does she know?"

Chakotay rubbed his palms against his thighs. "She knows how I felt on that planet, but ever since then, we've gotten back into our command structure."

The engineer fidgeted with her tricorder. "I can only say that feelings like that should be addressed. Remember what happened with me and Tom before we admitted how we felt about each other? We almost came to blows!"

Chakotay was about to ask 'almost', but he let it slide in favour of nodding agreement. "You've got a point, B'Elanna, but you know better than anyone on this ship that I'm not really the type to 'address feelings'."

B'Elanna was silent for a while, as she watched Seven of Nine walk over to a random crewman and initiate a conversation. When she turned her attention back on Chakotay, there was a wicked grin on her face. "Of course, there is someone who might help."

Chakotay raised his eyebrows in question.

B'Elanna chuckled. "I'm sure the Doctor would be more than happy to draw up a social skills syllabus for you."

Chakotay had dropped the matter after B'Elanna had made that joke. He had a few more avenues to try before he resorted to asking the ship's physician for romantic advice. That night, after his duty shift had ended, he went to his quarters early, declining Harry's invitation to a game of Parrisses Squares on the holodeck, saying he might drop by later.

Once he was alone, he took out his medicine bundle and laid it out on the floor, sitting cross-legged in front of the Akoonah. He closed his eyes and put his left hand on it. "A-koo-chee-moya, I am far from the bones of my people, I am far from the sacred places of my grandfathers, but perhaps there is a powerful being here who is willing to help me find the answer I seek."

Chakotay continued to be amazed by the sudden onset of his visions. When he opened his eyes this time, he found himself not in his childhood forest, but outside the accommodations he and Kathryn had shared on New Earth. He took his time to look around, so he wouldn't overlook his spirit guide. When he didn't see it, he went into their shelter. Sure enough, he spotted the familiar glistening body of the snake that had guided him for many years now. It was coiled up on the table that dominated the simple lodgings, trailing its tail through a dish of multi-coloured sand. It looked almost deliberate, so Chakotay approached the animal respectfully.

_Why have you come to me today, son of Kolopak?_

Chakotay had gotten used to the snake's telepathic communication, but he still chose to reply by speaking out loud. "I am facing a personal problem involving my superior officer."

The snake regarded him with its clever eyes. _Yes, the woman warrior. You love her._

It wasn't asking.

Chakotay nodded. "I've felt this way for some time now, and I can't make it go away."

_Do you want it to go away?_

He thought about that for a moment. It was short-sighted and selfish, but he couldn't deny that what he really wanted was for Kathryn to love him back.

The snake let its tongue dart out. _ Then you have your answer._

"But she's my captain. It's against protocol ..."

The animal didn't respond. It simply stared at him, then pointed at the sand with its head. Chakotay stepped closer so he could see what the snake had drawn and almost laughed. It had actually drawn a heart! How cliché!

Nevertheless, he thanked his spirit guide and woke himself from his vision. He didn't really feel any more certain about what he wanted to do. His mind raced and he was uncharacteristically wound up.

"Computer, what time is it?"

The computer beeped and informed him that he hadn't even spent half an hour on his vision quest. Changing into his padded sports uniform and taking up his ion mallet, he headed down to the holodeck to take Harry up on his invitation. The game would help take his mind off the captain. As expected, the program was already running, so he entered to find the game in full swing. Harry was just dealing a mean-looking blow to another ensign's ribs. Feeling the exhilaration of impending combat grip him, Chakotay signalled the young woman that he was ready to take her place on the team.

The game had really helped calm his nerves and disperse his thoughts, but an hour and a half later, he found himself back in his quarters, replicating some ice to put on his wrist. He winced at the contact and resolved to let the Doctor take a look at it if it didn't improve overnight. It was already close to midnight when the ice had melted, so he went to bed, prepared for another erotic dream.

He was disappointed when he didn't remember any of his dreams in the morning, but he didn't have much time to dwell on that. His hand had swelled to an extent that made him doubtful that it would go unnoticed on the bridge. Sighing to himself, he went through his daily bathroom routine, put on his uniform and headed over to Sickbay.

The Doctor looked like he'd had to treat several similar injuries already, and launched right into a lecture about the hazards of playing such a violent game.

"You can consider yourself lucky that all you fractured was your wrist. What happens if you break your neck next time?" He stared at his patient disapprovingly.

Chakotay gave him a half smile. "Then I'll have the comfort of knowing that the best medical hologram in the galaxy will stitch me up."

The Doctor looked torn between feeling flattered and annoyed. "You're beginning to sound like Tom Paris." The Doctor got out one of his devices and passed it over Chakotay's injured wrist. "That will mend the bones, but the hand will be a bit tender for a day or so. If you experience any discomfort, I can prescribe an analgesic."

"Thanks, Doc." Chakotay got up from the biobed, all set to leave Sickbay, but something stopped him. "Doctor, do you have another minute?"

The hologram cocked his head. "Of course, Commander. The longer you stay here, the longer that poor wrist has time to heal."

Chakotay paced between two of the biobeds, unsure where to begin. "I went on a vision quest yesterday, and I wanted to hear your opinion on what I saw there."

The Doctor took a step closer. "I feel honoured that you'd come to me with this. Although I am familiar with the technique and some of the symbols involved, I have never been asked to interpret a vision before."

"I won't go into anything too specific. I don't want to anger my spirit guide. But what I can tell you, is that I have been struggling with some emotions lately. The vision quest was supposed to help me decide how to proceed." Chakotay sat down again, hands braced on the bed, and looked at the Doctor. The physician had started walking in small circles, tapping his chin with his forefinger. Chakotay went on: "But this time, what my guide thinks best and what Starfleet protocol dictates don't seem to coincide."

The Doctor faced him, but kept his eyes trained on the ceiling. His subroutines were probably calculating what his problem could be. "If I may ask, what regulation are we talking about?"

Chakotay winced. He'd been afraid of this question. Then again, if he wanted the Doctor's help, he'd have to give him at least some of the facts. He sighed. "Fraternisation."

The Doctor's mouth fell open before he could control himself. "Well, you certainly won't need me to recite the passage in question, will you? "

Chakotay shook his head. "Thanks, it's been on my mind a lot lately. I think I've got it memorised." He rubbed his hand across his face in an attempt to clear his head.

The Doctor came to stand beside him. There was a hypospray in his hand. "In that case, may I inquire as to the rank of the individual involved?"

Chakotay snorted humourlessly. "No offence, Doc, but if I tell you that, I might as well be shouting out her name on 'Good morning, Voyager'."

The Doctor had just been about to administer the hypospray when he froze, his eyes wide. He recovered a second later and injected Chakotay. "I see," he said in his usual gruff manner. When he had put the spray away, he turned back and put his hand on the commander's shoulder. "Chakotay, you of all people should know that Voyager isn't just another Starfleet vessel. We have grown into a family, people have paired off, and there have even been children born on board. Now, in the Alpha Quadrant, officers such as you or the captain would have to adhere to protocol in such matters, but potential partners are scarce around here. I have appealed to Captain Janeway before to show leniency in this instance."

Chakotay remembered having a similar conversation with Kathryn when they had first learned about Samantha Wildman's pregnancy.

"Thanks, Doc. I'll keep that in mind. And could we keep this between the two of us?" He levelled the Doctor with his best forbidding glare.

The hologram nodded. "Of course, Commander."

Chakotay rose to go, then remembered something. "That still leaves the problem of what to do next." He prepared himself for various possible answers, but each one made him feel uneasy.

The Doctor, however, put on one of his dazzling grins. "I'd suggest dinner and a movie."


	3. Chapter 3

Chakotay used his lunch break to go to the mess hall. There was always someone there who wanted to trade shifts or rations, and today he had something to trade. Since the Doctor had forbidden him from running any of his favourite programmes, and Chakotay thought it wrong to create a simulation of how Kathryn would react to his revelation, he was ready to barter his holodeck time. Sure enough, he spotted a gaggle of lieutenants and ensigns sitting around a corner table, waving padds and raising the stakes on whatever was the item of discussion.

When he approached them, they fell silent instantly, some even trying to hide their padds.

Chakotay smiled. "At ease, officers. I come bearing two hours' holodeck time that I've got scheduled for tonight."

"Two hours," he heard Harry Kim exclaim. "I might finally get to meet the slave girls!"

Choosing to ignore that statement, Chakotay sat down in a chair offered to him by a young man from engineering.

"What would you like in return, Commander?" The same ensign asked.

Chakotay shook his head. "I don't think that's how it works. Why don't you tell me what you've got?"

Chakotay considered himself quite lucky when he walked out half an hour later with three replicator rations and the promise to have the day off that Saturday. Harry had to be really eager to meet those slave girls.

He headed back to the bridge, where he was surprised to discover that Kathryn hadn't returned from her own break yet. Neither had Tuvok. He ordered the bridge staff to report on what he had missed, and settled down in his chair. It had really grown on him. He almost couldn't remember what it had been like on the bridge of his old Maquis vessel. It couldn't have been this comfortable.

He found himself not paying much attention to the report, but nobody seemed to notice. He thanked everyone and kept his eyes trained on his own console while he waited for the captain to return. Before long, Captain Janeway exited her ready room, followed by Commander Tuvok. They exchanged one of their unreadable looks, and then headed for their respective stations, Kathryn sinking down in her chair just beside Chakotay. She appeared flushed. Maybe Tuvok had brought a security issue to her attention. In that case, tough, it was considered polite to include the first officer. He decided that speculation wouldn't get him anywhere.

Pretending to check something on his console, he asked in a low voice: "How was lunch?"

Kathryn seemed startled, but then turned in her seat like she so often did. "Slightly unsettling, if I'm being honest," she replied in an equally quiet voice, "but now is not really the time to get into that."

Chakotay furrowed his brow. "Captain?"

She shook her head and waved her hand slightly. "Never mind. I shouldn't be this maddeningly obscure. I've been told it makes people think I'm sympathy-baiting."

He chuckled. "Well, if you do want to talk, my door is always open."

Kathryn smiled at that, and covered his hand with hers again.

They didn't have much time to talk after that, because Seven of Nine had some new readings about that supergiant and asked Kathryn to come down to astrometrics. Chakotay himself took the conn after the ensign assigned had to go to Sickbay to get treated for space sickness. After all these years in space, some of the crew still experienced flare-ups of that condition on occasion. People were usually sympathetic.

Chakotay liked piloting Voyager. Despite all the computerised systems, he still had to be completely focused on the task to make sure they stayed on course. Being in Tom's chair was proving to be an excellent distraction from his current emotional problems. Up here, he simply had no time to think about Kathryn's arms around his body, or her lips on his ... CRAP!

Chakotay checked the chronometer in his console. Great. He'd gone all of twenty minutes without thinking about her. That was a start.

When the queasy crewmember had returned, Chakotay's duty shift was about an hour from being over. He rejoined Kathryn in the middle of the bridge, smiling at her.

"Nothing like a turn at the wheel to make you feel alive," he said, expecting Kathryn to agree with him wholeheartedly. She just looked at him, however, with an expression that told him she was trying to puzzle something out. He lowered his voice. "Are you alright?"

She nodded slowly while her eyes continued to probe him like a tricorder. "Do you have dinner plans?" she finally blurted out.

He was surprised, but quickly caught himself. "Is that an invitation?"

The captain grinned at the familiar banter and went back to her work. Chakotay wished he could be that focused, but somewhere inside his mind there was a voice that screamed 'tell her tonight!' over and over again. The last hour of his shift would be a long one. And no matter how loud that voice might get, he had no intention of letting it tell him what to do.

The evening finally came, and Chakotay was getting increasingly nervous. Not because he was about to go on a date with a strong and beautiful woman, he'd done that before, but because this particular strong beautiful woman had no idea that it was a date. He had already showered and changed into civilian clothing. Somehow, though, not wearing his uniform made him feel self-conscious, a sensation that he didn't fancy at all.

He had heard someone saying once that being nervous before a task was the body's way of saying that said task was important, and Chakotay liked to agree with that sentiment.

On his way to the captain's quarters, he took a detour to deck 8 where he had stored some bottles of Antarian cider. Today seemed like a good occasion to open one of them. He verified that Seven was out by asking the computer about her whereabouts before he entered the cargo bay. He quickly retrieved one of the bottles and resumed his course. The corridors were mercifully deserted when he reached Kathryn's door and pressed the bell button on the panel next to it. It took her longer than usual to let him in, and he was beginning to worry that she might have run into some extra work on the bridge, when the door finally slid open.

Chakotay was rendered speechless by what he saw. The lights in the captain's quarters had been dimmed, the soft coloured radiance around the windows being the only artificial illumination. The smell of good food was wafting out to greet him, which was slightly surprising, since Kathryn had managed to burn replicated food on occasion. Kathryn herself looked simply breathtaking, standing next to her desk. She, too, had donned civilian clothing, and was dressed in a flowing long, dark blue skirt and a loose-fitting shirt of the same colour.

She smiled at him and put away the padd that she had been studying. Maybe it was his imagination, but he thought she looked nervous, too.

At a loss for words, Chakotay raised his bottle of cider while he stepped inside.

She was the first to speak. "What's that?" Her voice betrayed that she was intrigued.

Chakotay grinned. "Antarian cider. I've been saving it." He handed her the bottle. "I thought it would go well with the ... what's for dinner again?"

She chuckled, placing the bottle on the dining table. "To be completely honest, I'm not entirely sure myself. I didn't prepare any of it. I coerced Neelix into cooking something for us."

Chakotay went over and inspected the food more closely. It sure looked delicious. He identified at least three separate dishes, including Parthas a la Yuta, a leafy green side dish, cheese pieroggi, Zephram Cochrane's favourite food, and Osol Twists, a dessert that was as tasty as it was simple.

He let out a low whistle "Neelix really went all out, didn't he?"

Kathryn nodded. "He must have gone through the entire Federation database to find all this. He even prepared some Bajoran cocktails, although I have to admit that your cider sounds even better right now."

She gestured at the chair Chakotay usually favoured. "Well, let's sit down and enjoy."

Chakotay sat, his heart beating in his throat. He found that he wasn't really hungry at all, but the time wasn't right yet to reveal why he had really come here tonight. Kathryn started filling both of their plates and they began their meal. It was extremely delicious. Chakotay couldn't concentrate on all the different flavours and textures, though, because his mind kept going over what Kathryn had said about the food. She had talked to Neelix about their upcoming dinner, which she had never done before. Was it possible that she expected this evening to go into a different direction than their previous dinners?

It took him a while to notice that Kathryn was looking at him. He must have zoned out and missed whatever the captain had said.

"I'm terribly sorry, could you repeat that?" He felt himself flush. Such lapses in concentration weren't like him at all.

Kathryn picked up the cider bottle to illustrate her point. "The cider. Would you care to do the honours?"

He smiled and, getting up, took the chilled bottle. Their fingers brushed, and he had to control himself so he wouldn't let go of the bottle to grip her hand properly. He looked down into her eyes and saw her looking back at him, a subtle blush tinting her cheeks.

For a moment, Chakotay was at a loss for what to say. Fighting the urge to kiss her was getting harder and harder. He cleared his throat. "Do you have a bottle opener?"

Kathryn handed him the device. "I must warn you, Captain, I'm not exactly known for my skill in this area."

Kathryn chuckled richly, then got up and walked over to her couch with their empty glasses and the dessert plate. "Why don't you join me over here? The view is much better." She sat down, one leg folded underneath her.


	4. Chapter 4

Chakotay had to stop himself from saying that the view would be lovely wherever she was. He tried to focus on opening the bottle, but his recently mended wrist was giving him considerable trouble. He let out an involuntary hiss at the sharp pain, causing Kathryn to get up again.

She came back to his side, taking his hand tenderly. Kathryn looked at him, concern evident in her expressive eyes. "What is it?"

He fiddled with the bottle in his healthy hand to keep from having to look at her. "It's nothing, really. I just hurt my wrist playing Parrisses Squares the other night. The Doctor said there could be some pain."

The captain's hands on his were better than any analgesic. Her fingers were moving over the back of his hand, caressing the knuckles lightly. Was that deliberate?

He could feel her cool hands take on some of his body heat, and somehow that felt very intimate. He had no idea how long he had been staring at her hands, but he was jolted back to reality by Kathryn taking the cider from him. She cleared her throat and moved back a few paces, placing the bottle on her desk.

"Chakotay, I know I don't have to ask your permission to speak freely, but I've got something on my mind." She rested one hand on her hip, making her look beautifully imposing, as she regarded him.

He was still tingly from their prolonged contact, but he made an effort to appear unruffled. "You know you can tell me anything." He put on a smile and hoped against hope that what she had to say wasn't about her being uncomfortable with their closeness.

She pushed a hand through her hair. She was obviously having trouble deciding on what to say. That didn't seem like the captain at all. Chakotay debated whether to say something to ease her apparent discomfort, or stay silent like a good officer would. Then again, he didn't just want to be another officer to her. "Kathryn? Is everything alright?"

She looked up at him, conflicting emotions warring on her features. For once, she had dropped her mask, and Chakotay was grateful for that. She sighed deeply, her hand touching her forehead. "I'm not sure. I guess it all depends."

He furrowed his brow. "Depends on what?"

She sighed again. "On that same question we've been asking ever since we got stranded here in the Delta quadrant. Starfleet rules and regulations are there for a reason. Who are we to decide which ones to follow?" Her bright blue eyes rested on him, searching his face.

Chakotay's heart skipped a beat. Was she saying what he thought she was? Could she really be fighting the same inner battle that he had so recently lost?

He cautioned himself and walked over to her desk, trying to appear more composed than he felt. He took the bottle and succeeded in opening it this time. He was punished by a rather unpleasant pain that shot all the way into his elbow.

He managed to hide the grimace on his face by turning around to fetch their glasses. "The way I see it," he began while pouring the amber liquid, "we are in a somewhat unique situation." He handed the captain one of the glasses. She shook her head, but accepted the drink.

"Are we, though? What about the Equinox crew? They suffered the same fate at the hands of the caretaker, but they chose to abandon their principles." Her eyes showed the pain and revulsion most of them felt when reminded of their fellow Starfleet vessel. "They became monsters."

Chakotay couldn't stop a tiny smile from pulling at his mouth. "Kathryn, what is this really about? We've had this conversation before, years ago. You were wondering if running a Starfleet ship and allowing the crew to have intimate relations could work. We know now that it does work, so why is this becoming an issue again?"

Kathryn put down her glass and sat on the edge of her desk, hands clenched around one knee. She regarded him for a while before she spoke. "Because this time it's about me. I've always tried to maintain at least a modicum of professional distance between myself and my crew, but ... ever since that letter from Mark ..."

"You've been wondering if it would be such a bad thing if you started seeing someone?" The words came out almost before he could stop them. He saw Kathryn's eyes widen.

"Exactly." It was barely more than a whisper.

Chakotay put his own glass down. "But you're worried about the chain of command, about fraternisation." Chakotay couldn't stop himself. He had stepped closer and was carefully touching Kathryn's shoulder. Her eyes never left his.

"Exactly."

He ran his hand very lightly down her arm. "You know what? The hell with it."

He reached out with his other hand, and brushed an auburn curl out of Kathryn's face. She showed no signs of protest, so he decided to go for it. Keeping his hand on her cheek, he leant in, his eyes searching hers, ready to stop if she showed any displeasure. Finally, she closed the remaining distance between them, allowing their lips to touch for the first time. This was much better than his fantasy. He had to bend down, because she was still seated, but when he felt one of her hands on his neck, he couldn't care less. Kathryn's kisses were soft, almost shy, casting a stark contrast between her usual manner and the woman who was kissing him. After a while she pulled back, her hand raised to touch her lips. She looked like she couldn't believe that she had just kissed her first officer. To be honest, he wasn't entirely sure that he wasn't dreaming himself. He let his hands fall away, and tried to focus on controlling his breathing, which sounded like he had been running. They were still close enough for him to smell her hair, which didn't help clear his head at all.

He avoided her eyes, scared of what he might see there, until he noticed that his gaze had been resting on her heaving chest for far too long already. He forced his eyes away, then met hers again. She had gotten up from the desk and her hand was just coming up to cup his cheek. He noticed that she was smiling one of her barely there smiles, while she scanned him intently. Chakotay couldn't help the smile that spread across his own face. They stayed like that for quite some time, just basking in the glow of their shared kiss.

Eventually, Kathryn broke the silence. "I think you're right. Some rules are worth bending."

Chakotay savoured the feeling of her hand on his cheek. Standing close to his captain had never felt more intimate, more natural. He never wanted this moment to end.

Finally, though, the first officer remembered that it must be getting late. He brought his own hand up to his face to cover hers. He smiled ruefully. "I'm afraid I should be on my way ..."

Her face froze, the mask back in place. She took a step back, effectively freeing her hand from Chakotay's. After a moment, she took up her glass and drank from it, affecting nonchalance. "Well, don't let me keep you, Commander. I've got an early morning, too."

Chakotay blinked at the unexpected use of his rank, but forced a smile. "Good night, Captain. I hope you enjoy the cider."

He left the captain's quarters feeling more confused than ever. What had he done to bring this wonderful evening to such an abrupt end?

He resolved to ask her about it the next chance he got. As always, Chakotay was convinced that honesty was the best policy.

* * *

That night, Kathryn had trouble finding sleep. Granted, that was never easy, but tonight was different. As she lay in bed, watching the stars rush past, her mind kept returning to the man she had come to trust more than anyone in the universe. During her captaincy, she had always denied herself the pleasure of intimate companionship, partly because she had had a man waiting for her at home, partly because she had felt she needed to be punished for standing her crew here. Aside from a few stray kisses and fantasies, she had stuck to that rule. She fancied herself a better captain for not getting caught up in the tangles of love and lust.

She let out a snort of laughter. How very Vulcan of you, Kathryn!

That thought stuck, however. She had spent a good deal of her career in the company of a Vulcan, who had always been her moral compass and her trusted friend. She was struck by the sudden impulse to get her combadge from her nightstand and call him. He would provide some order for her messy thoughts. She had already thrown back the covers when she became aware that she might not like Tuvok's answer to her dilemma. He might be uncomfortable discussing personal issues, but he was still her advisor, and a Starfleet officer. He would use his impeccable logic to weigh the pros and cons of her becoming intimately involved with her first officer.

Those words made something inside her body tighten. She had been attracted to him for a long time, but her rules and sense of duty had always helped her keep those feelings in check. If it hadn't been for New Earth, she might even have succeeded in pushing them away completely, but Chakotay's heartfelt revelation had dredged everything up again.

She smiled when she remembered his story about the angry warrior who had taken it upon himself to protect and serve the woman warrior and her tribe. It was hard to imagine the warm and gentle Indian man as the angry and irrational being that his intelligence report had made him out to be. Of course she knew that he had fight in him, but he always had the crew's best interests at heart. A warm feeling spread through her chest at that thought. Could it really be so wrong to entertain the idea of a relationship with someone who was as devoted to the ship as she was? Even as she felt a slight arousal at the memory of kissing Chakotay, every regulation she could cite was against her.

She couldn't let those feelings bubble up again, couldn't let that arousal turn into desire that clouded her judgement. But in order for that to work, she needed to get rid of it.

With a slightly mischievous smile, she allowed her hand to travel down over her stomach, lower and lower ... She gasped at the contact. She hadn't had time or the right mindset to do this in ages. She tried to focus on the sensations caused by her own fingers, but something else snuck up on her. The image of Chakotay's body lying next to her, his hand covering her own like it had earlier. She imagined what it would feel like to have his warm fingers dance over her sensitive skin, stroking her to an inevitable climax.

The wave of ecstasy hit her quite unexpectedly, crushing her with its force. She fought her way back up and lay there for a while, the back of her hand on her forehead, allowing her breathing to return to normal.

When the rush of orgasm faded, she was left with a slightly sinking feeling in the pit of her stomach.

Maybe she shouldn't have sent Chakotay away. He was probably convinced that she had just slipped up and was now back to her chaste self. Maybe he even thought she was angry at him. The only one she was angry at was herself.

She got up and went to the couch table, where their dessert still stood, untouched.

She took the plate and settled down in her favourite chair. The Osol Twists were fantastic, and they helped ease her anxiety. Kathryn eventually put the plate down and pulled the woollen blanket over herself. Finally, she felt sleep catching up with her.


	5. Chapter 5

The computer woke her at 0400, much too early after the night she'd had. There was a kink in her neck from sleeping in her armchair, and she felt generally cranky.

"Coffee, black," she barked at her replicator, daring the piece of technology to screw up her order. She'd love an excuse to dismantle that cocky thing.

When she took her first sip, however, she was almost disappointed at how good the coffee tasted. She gave the replicator a grudging nod of respect, and took the cup into the bathroom with her. She counted on the sonic shower to blast away her residual weariness.

Twenty minutes later, she was on her way to the bridge. Her neck still hurt, but the pulsing noise of her shower had worked a true miracle on her mood. Kathryn was already in the turbolift, when the events of last night came rushing back to her. She tried to keep the confusion and annoyance out of her expression, but Tuvok's raised eyebrow told her that she hadn't done it well enough. She nodded at him, then went over to her chair. The night shift wasn't officially over yet, so Chakotay wasn't there.

Kathryn used that time to try and decide how to handle the situation. Should she discuss this with Tuvok? It was no security issue, but her friend deserved to know what was going on in her life. She briefly considered talking to Neelix, being that he had provided the meal for their little 'date', but decided against it. She needed someone whose knowledge of Starfleet regulations was absolute. She snapped her fingers. Of course, the Doctor. He had been programmed with all necessary information, so he should know what to do. She wouldn't bother Tuvok with this until she had to.

"Tuvok, do you have the time?"

"4:35, Captain," came the Vulcan's curt reply.

She nodded and rose. " You have the bridge. I'll be right back." With that, she strode back into the turbolift and headed down to Sickbay.

She met a few crewmembers on her way, but none of them engaged her in more conversation than "Good morning, Captain!", so she was free to figure out what to tell the Doctor.

The doors hissed open almost before she knew it. Sickbay was deserted and the lights dimmed. It was good to see that the Doctor was conserving energy by turning himself off. She stepped inside. "Computer, lights, maximum setting. Activate EMH."

The Doctor flickered into being. "Please state the nature of the medical emergency."

She raised her hands. "No emergency, Doctor. Sorry for disturbing you."

The hologram's face was caught somewhere between delight and irritation. "Not at all, Captain. But just once, I wish people would come to me with actual medical problems."

Despite her assurance that she was fine, the Doctor took up his tricorder and started scanning. "Are you experiencing pain in your trapezius muscle?"

She raised her hand to touch the place where her neck joined her shoulder. "I just didn't sleep right. It's nothing."

The Doctor tutted at her. "We can't have you running the ship while you're not at your best."

The captain raised her eyebrow and opened her mouth to voice her opposition, but let it go. She had come to the Doctor for help, so she should avoid putting him in a bad mood. She sighed. "You're right of course, Doctor. I would appreciate your help. A massage maybe?" The idea had just come to her on the spot. A massage would be a convenient way to talk to the hologram without betraying all of her emotions through her expressions.

The Doctor lit up right away. "Certainly. You know, I think the crew is far too quick to request medications for things that could just as easily be treated with therapeutic massages. Everyone would do well to follow your example. You'll find my skills more than approximate a muscle relaxant."

He led her to one of the biobeds and made her sit down. His hands found the painful knots right away, causing her to give a groan of pain. It was still kind of weird to feel the Doctor touching her. She'd spent a lot of time around holograms over the past few years, but the fact that the Doctor's hands felt so real continued to surprise her. She felt him shift behind her.

"With all due respect, Captain, this would be a lot easier if you weren't wearing your uniform."

She hesitated. She hadn't come here to be treated, but then again, this massage was a good excuse to engage him in conversation. Finally, she decided to go with it. She unzipped her uniform jacket and put it aside. Then she undid the Velcro of her turtleneck, and put that down as well. The air of Sickbay felt cool against her bare arms, but the Doctor had warm hands. Warm hands ... that reminded her. Once he had started on her neck again, she cast around for a way to touch on the topic in question. She needn't have bothered, for the Doctor was chatty as ever.

"Well, Captain," he began, kneading her neck and shoulders expertly, "what's new with the crew?" He chuckled at his own word play.

Kathryn closed her eyes and tried to relax. "Oh, you know. The usual. Supergiants to be investigated, final frontiers to be breached."

She knew that wasn't what he wanted to hear. The Doctor thrived on gossip. He was about to hear the best piece ever. He just didn't know it yet.

The hologram huffed slightly. "I could have read that in any report on the computer. What have the people of Voyager been up to lately?"

She smiled. This was the perfect setup for her questions. "Well, there is one thing that was brought to my attention. It's quite delicate, so I won't give you any names."

The Doctor leaned in closer. "I understand, Captain. I am discretion personified."

The captain nodded. "I know you can be trusted, Doctor. Okay, so this crewman comes to me for advice. He's been in love with someone for quite some time, and it seems she likes him, too, but there's a problem." She held up her hand, index finger raised. "The problem is me."

The Doctor stilled his hands. "Captain?"

"What I mean is that they have to get my approval, since they're of the same chain of command."

"Ah, I see," said the Doctor. "But we've had such relationships before, I believe. There shouldn't be a problem."

She turned her head slightly. "Do you think so?"

"Absolutely. Since our journey began, no one on board has had the opportunity to pursue a relationship outside of Voyager. People being what they are, they required certain ... outlets. You yourself have endorsed intimacy between shipmates."

The Doctor was right in theory, but he didn't have all the facts. She was reluctant to fill him in, but she felt that she needed to come clean.

"Doctor, there is something about this case I haven't mentioned. But before I do, I need to know that you won't tell anyone." She could almost feel him roll his eyes.

"You have my word."

She gathered all of her courage. "I've been thinking about getting involved with someone."

The hologram had evidently finished his treatment, because he walked around the biobed to stand before her. "That's wonderful, Captain. Frankly, I was getting worried. Human sexuality is-"

The captain silenced him with a sharp glance.

The Doctor cleared his throat and continued. "I'm sorry, that got away from me. So, do you have someone in mind?"

Kathryn dearly hoped that she wasn't blushing when she answered. "I do. Actually that's the real reason I came here today."

She got up and started getting dressed, taking much more time than usual. Finally, she looked the Doctor straight in the eyes. "It's Commander Chakotay."

* * *

0500 hours had just passed when Chakotay entered the bridge. The events of the previous evening had kept him up most of the night, debating whether or not to return to Kathryn's quarters and set things straight. When he had finally fallen asleep, he'd had nightmares of the Equinox and her crew. He had actually been relieved to be woken up by the computer.

He was surprised to find the captain absent, and asked Tuvok about her whereabouts. The Vulcan had no concrete answer for him, however, so he had no choice but to sit down and wait.

It was another fifteen minutes before Kathryn exited the turbolift, looking thoughtful. She spotted him right away, stopped in her tracks, and then nodded her head towards the ready room.

Chakotay felt his heart skip a beat, but rose at once and followed her.

The door slid shut behind them with its customary hiss, but the silence that engulfed them was anything but. Kathryn slowly walked over to the replicator and ordered two cups of coffee, then put them down on the couch table.

As he went over to join her, he had a sudden flashback of sitting right there with her a few short weeks ago and discussing the end of her relationship with Mark.

He sat down on the couch, feeling quite uncomfortable in the Starfleet issue seat, and took one of the coffee cups. The metal was soothingly warm against his palms which had turned uncharacteristically cold.

Kathryn sighed quietly when she sat down, crossed her legs, and stared out at the stars for a few moments, as if trying to decide how to deliver some bad news. He felt his throat tighten. To distract himself from the fact that she still hadn't spoken, he took a swig of his coffee, and promptly burned his tongue. He cursed softly, finally making her look.

Her expression was unreadable. He continued to be amazed at how the captain could be so skilled at hiding her feelings even from her close friends. It must be something to do with being friends with a Vulcan for all these years.

He was getting anxious for her to speak, so he decided to give her a little verbal nudge. "Kathryn?" He purposely used her first name to gauge her reaction. If she was about to tell him to keep his distance, she would probably have him call her 'captain' from now on.

What happened then wasn't at all what he had expected. She kept her eyes trained on his, and asked in a tone that suggested actual interest: "Why did you kiss me?"

The sheer bluntness of her question took him by surprise. He had no idea how to respond. Why did anybody kiss anyone?

"Humour me, please," she went on.

Chakotay set down his mug and took in her appearance. She looked like she hadn't slept much either, and there was a vulnerability in her eyes that she couldn't seem to hide.

He rested his hands on his thighs. "I thought it was pretty obvious."

Her expression told him that she wasn't going to take that for an answer, though, so he sighed. "Do you want me to come out and say it? I have feelings for you. There."

He was aware of a subtle blush in the captain's cheeks, but she was still maintaining her professional detachment. Confessing his feelings to her had made him feel quite insecure, and he didn't like it.

Finally, Kathryn softened somewhat. "I'm sorry for drawing that out of you, but I've been having a hard time trying to figure out what to do about what happened yesterday. I even consulted the Doctor about it, can you believe that?"

Chakotay couldn't help laughing at that. "So did I!"

Kathryn had just taken a sip of coffee and almost choked. "Really? Well, he must be feeling like the resident expert on romance."

"I guess we'll have to make sure it doesn't go to his head," he chuckled, glad that the tension was gone. "Did he give you any good advice?"

The captain cocked her head, and rubbed her neck. "He did, after he was done citing rules and precedent. And I got a great massage on top of that."

Chakotay raised his eyebrow in question, but she merely laughed and took another drink from her coffee mug.

After that, the conversation turned to the agenda for the next few days, holodeck privileges, duty rosters, and other trivial matters.

Nonetheless, Chakotay felt inexplicably better after they'd more or less established that they were both confused about their feelings. When Kathryn checked the time and they became aware that they'd spent almost an hour in the ready room, the captain suggested heading back to the bridge.

Chakotay nodded agreement. They both finished their coffee and rose. Chakotay cleared his throat nervously just before Kathryn reached the door. "Kathryn, would you consider it inappropriate for me to invite you on a date?" He was surprised by his own boldness, and felt his insides writhe in anticipation.


	6. Chapter 6

The captain froze, then turned. There was a smile on her face that was tinged with just a hint of malice. She took a few steps back towards him, closing the distance between them. She looked him square in the eyes, resting her hands on his chest, effectively stopping his heart. "Yes," she breathed, leaning in to kiss him with a passion that had him hard in seconds. Chakotay responded eagerly, his arms finding their way around her waist. Her short frame pushed against his body. She had to be feeling his arousal. He couldn't care less. His desire was overpowering. When her hand came up to cup the back of his neck, her kisses growing deeper, he couldn't stop himself from trying to manoeuvre her against a wall. The captain's collection of decorative items left little wall space available, though, so he was just about to push her against the door when it hissed open. They both jumped back in shock, allowing the door to close again, then burst out laughing. She actually giggled. "Do you think anyone saw that?"

They exited the ready room shortly after that in an orderly fashion, trying not to look too flustered. Chakotay was convinced that they were failing miserably. Kathryn was positively glowing, eyes alight and lips reddened. She looked breathtakingly beautiful. He himself was still slightly out of breath and self-conscious about his partial erection that he was trying to subdue. That proved difficult with the waves of electricity passing between them. Chakotay could feel his skin burn wherever she'd touched him. He wasn't the type to rush into physical intimacy, but right now he was sorely tempted to take her right there on the bridge. He felt excessively hot and he didn't even dare look at Kathryn for fear he'd act on his desires. In his effort to look anywhere else, he let his eyes sweep the bridge. To his horror, quite a few crewmembers were looking at him, among them Harry and Tom. His eyes lingered on Tom, who caught his eyes and made a surreptitious gesture with his thumb on his lips. It took Chakotay a moment to understand what that meant. Finally, he clapped a hand over his mouth and saw Tom chuckle silently. Chakotay tried to see his reflection in the console to check for lipstick marks. There were none. Great. Leave it to Tom to embarrass his superior officers and get all the juicy gossip at the same time.

In an attempt to look busy, Chakotay took up a padd and typed in a short message for Kathryn, then sent it to her console. He heard it beep when she received it.

_You never answered my question_, it read.

He saw Kathryn's lips twitch in a smile. _I did. I do think it would be inappropriate for you to ask me out on a date._

The words stung, but Kathryn's actions in the ready room just minutes ago spoke another language.

_So are you saying that you won't go out with me? _He wished he knew how to mute the sound on these padds. Every single touch of a key resulted in a loud beeping, making their private conversation quite the symphony. She was grinning now, drawing a few looks as she responded: _No._

Chakotay had seldom been so happy to see the word 'no' on a screen. He felt his own face split into a huge smile as he typed. _Then it's settled. Saturday night. I'll pick you up at eight._

Kathryn blushed slightly. _Where are you taking me?_

Chakotay caught her eyes and shook his head, still grinning. _It's a surprise._

Before she could argue, he put the padd away and turned to his console. He had a lot of work to catch up on if he wanted to have time to design the surprise later. First, though, he pulled up the Doctor's report on the crew's health. While he scanned the results, he could feel Kathryn's eyes on him every now and then, sending tingles down his spine. He was quite pleased with the Doctor's work and with the fact that there were no terrible diseases being spread on board, no major health issues whatsoever. Thankfully, the hologram hadn't included every single detail - Chakotay's hormone levels for example. He made a mental note to put a commendation into his file.

He stayed up late, putting the finishing touches on his holodeck programme. He wanted Kathryn to be speechless and moved, so everything had to be perfect. He checked the chronometer. It was just past midnight. He wondered if Tom Paris was still up. He decided to try his luck, confirming with the computer that he was still out and about. Perfect. The helmsman was currently on the holodeck. Chakotay headed straight down. At the entrance, he quickly checked to see which programme was running. He didn't want to walk in on anything embarrassing, although that might even the score between them. When he recognised the Captain Proton scenario, he instructed the computer to adjust his appearance to fit the monochromatic setting, and entered.

He stepped right into Captain Proton's rocket, sidestepping Satan's robot that immediately started sounding the alarms. This wasn't exactly the kind of archaeology he was interested in, but he could certainly see the appeal. He allowed the robot to take him to Captain Proton, although that was hardly necessary. He'd spotted Tom as soon as he'd entered. He was visible on one of the screens, obviously just returning from a mission. The rocket's main hatch opened and Tom climbed in, looking very pleased with himself. He started greeting the robot when he suddenly recognised Chakotay. Tom looked taken aback, his mouth open in one of his less than intelligent expressions. Chakotay called himself to order. After all, he wanted to ask a favour of Tom.

"Welcome to my rocket ship, Commander," Tom grinned, gesturing around the cluttered space. "You can release him," he added to the robot, who promptly withdrew, making loud clanging sounds as he went.

"Thanks." Chakotay joined Tom at the helm. "So, were you successful tonight?"

Tom looked suspicious, but smiled. "Very. After Harry saved those slave girls last time, I was left with the much cooler task of destroying the slave master's time ship ... don't ask."

Chakotay chuckled. "And you programmed all of this yourself?"

"Yeah, but Harry helped a lot. He's like a holodeck wunderkind."

"I see." Chakotay fidgeted with the padd he'd brought. "I have something I'd like you to take a look at. I'd consider it a personal favour."

Tom regarded him with renewed interest. "Sure. Let me have a look."

Chakotay hesitated, then handed him the padd. Involving anyone in all this still felt risky, but Kathryn had done it too, so just went for it. He waited impatiently while Tom studied his plans, the younger man's brows creeping closer to his hairline.

"You want me to turn your plans into a holodeck ... experience?"

Chakotay nodded. "Can you do it?"

Tom waved the padd. "You went into a lot of detail, so I should be fine on that front, but it would help if I knew why I was doing this." The tone in his voice made Chakotay feel positive that he had already considered what he'd seen on the bridge, and come to the right conclusions. He just wanted to hear him say it.

Chakotay leaned against one of the machines, ignoring the beeping that produced. "Why don't you tell me your theory?"

Tom grinned. "Do you promise you won't throw me in the brig if I get it right?"

"We'll see."

The helmsman's face grew more serious. "I think you're planning to take Captain Janeway here," he indicated the padd. "From what I saw on the bridge I'd say there was definitely something going on between the two of you."

Chakotay didn't respond right away. Tom was spot on. "Was it that obvious?" He wasn't sure he wanted to know the answer.

Tom let out a laugh. "No offence, Chakotay, but even Seven of Nine would have said it was obvious."

Chakotay shared Tom's laughter out of embarrassment. "I guess it was pretty hard to miss."

Tom seemed to consider asking questions, but settled on saying: "I can show you the preliminary programme tomorrow evening. Say, 1900 hours?"

Chakotay nodded again. "That works for me. I don't think I need to tell you that silence is key."

"That's a given. And if anyone tries to get me to do extra work, can I refer them to you?"

Chakotay laughed. "Don't push it, Tom!" He winked and left the holodeck.

He was surprised by how tired he felt now that he'd gotten this underway. It was already past 0100, so he went back to his quarters. He had just changed and gotten into bed, when his communicator chirped.

"Janeway to Chakotay."

He hurried to fetch the badge from his nightstand, heart thumping. "Chakotay here. What is it, captain?"

He heard her chuckle richly. "Your 'surprise' is killing me. I need to know"

Chakotay lay back, smiling. "Why should I tell you when it's so much more fun to watch you squirm?" He could almost see the outrage in her face. "Don't worry, it'll be worth the wait."

She sighed. "I guess so ... Oooh, remember the tub? You made me wait for that too."

Chakotay felt his breath catch in his throat. This was the first time in a long time that she'd brought up New Earth. He pulled himself together. "How could I forget?" He left unspoken all the times that he'd tried to keep his eyes averted while she bathed, focusing on sand art or some menial work around the shelter. Or that more than once he'd failed entirely, spellbound by the way the water droplets glistened on her exposed skin.

There was a pronounced silence, and Chakotay briefly wondered if Kathryn had fallen asleep. Then he heard a faint rustle from the device in his hand. "Kathryn?"

"Yes?" Her voice sounded wistful.

"If you really want to know, I'll tell you. But I'd rather you waited for Saturday."

She seemed to think for a moment. "I guess I'll survive not knowing for two days."

"You won't regret it," he chuckled.

"Oh, I'm sure I will." She was laughing softly, too. "Goodnight, Chakotay."

He wished she was lying next to him, speaking those words. "Sleep well, Kathryn."

Chakotay couldn't get to sleep for a long time after that. He was going over their remote conversation again in his head, shocked by how easy it had been to talk to her so intimately. He couldn't recall ever having a conversation with her over their badges that didn't involve any shop talk.

He rolled onto his back and tried to imagine what Saturday would be like. He had the whole day off, so he wouldn't put anyone in danger by being less than focused. Also, he'd have time to fiddle with the programme if Tom got something wrong. Chakotay had to admit that didn't seem very likely. He'd included extremely detailed accounts of the flora and fauna surrounding the locale of their date, of scents, sounds, scenery. He was fairly confident that it would be as close to perfect as was possible.

* * *

Kathryn put her badge back onto her nightstand and settled back against the pillows. Chakotay had clearly not known how to respond when she'd brought up New Earth. Their second home had been a taboo topic for years now. They'd barely ever mentioned it since they'd been rescued. Too painful was the realisation that their chance at a quiet life together had passed. At least for her. And of course there'd been the guilt she'd felt at allowing a man other than Mark to occupy her mind and her heart.

Now, though, she could hardly stop herself from calling him again to invite him into her quarters. She chastised herself for those thoughts, trying to ban them to the furthest reaches of her consciousness. Such actions could wait. First and foremost, she had a ship to run. Still, the overwhelming curiosity at what Chakotay had planned for Saturday wouldn't let her rest.

She tried to calm her mind by reciting some of her favourite poems. That usually helped put her out like a light. It took a little longer tonight, but eventually she managed to put Chakotay and all her excitement out of her mind and drift into an uneasy sleep.


	7. Chapter 7

The next day saw them all busy as bees. Kathryn had been woken by the red alert klaxons blaring at 3.30. Harry had informed her that a security alarm had been triggered by increased levels of neutron radiation. Of course, the warp core had chosen that time to cause trouble, meaning they had to limp out of the danger zone at impulse speed. By then, it was already noon, and she'd been busy doling out assignments. Everything had been fairly hectic.

The real slammer came at about 1600 hours, though, when all senior officers were gathered in the conference room to update each other. B'Elanna and Seven already had their assignments. Fused relays, overheated plasma and misaligned matter injectors all needed their attention if Voyager was going to go anywhere anytime soon.

Kathryn had been aggravated all morning, so when she handed out assignments, no one even tried to argue. Almost no one. Tom Paris simply refused to run a detailed systems analysis and report to Sickbay as soon as he was done. He couldn't hold her gaze, though, when he said he was too busy already. Kathryn dismissed everyone but Tom and Chakotay. She wasn't sure she trusted herself not to throw him in the brig if he refused a direct order, so she counted on Chakotay's level-headedness.

"Mr Paris, please enlighten me what's important enough to neglect your duties during an emergent situation." She was having trouble keeping her voice calm.

Tom glanced at Chakotay, then met her gaze defiantly. "I'm very sorry, captain, but I'm not at liberty to say."

Kathryn felt her mouth open in disbelief. She'd had to endure some serious cheek at the hands of Tom Paris, but this was something else. Her blood was boiling, everything that popped into her head a more severe punishment than the last. She tried and failed to compose her voice as she stepped close to Chakotay, her back to Tom. "Please handle this."

She stormed out, still fuming at Tom's audacity.

The two men exited the conference room a mere five minutes later, and Kathryn forced herself not to look away. Tom looked subdued and guilty, with Chakotay almost mirroring his expression. That was strange. Her anger had cooled a bit, but it was still dangerously close to the surface. She resolved to just ask Chakotay about it when he sat down. With any luck, she'd keep her temper while on the bridge.

Chakotay sank down in his chair a little while later, voicing his exhaustion with a groan.

"What a day. I dread Doc's radiation findings. We were in that zone for much too long."

She knew he was looking at her. Her skin tingled in just the right way, but she was still annoyed, so she turned slowly in her chair and levelled him with an earnest look.

He flushed guiltily, something he almost never did, and waited for her to speak.

When she did, her tone was measured. "Chakotay, you know better than anyone that we need to put up a united front if we want our leadership to be effective. I really hope you didn't have anything to do with Tom's outrageous behaviour."

Chakotay looked remorseful. "In Tom's defence, I asked him to do me a favour that is rather time consuming."

Kathryn sighed and covered her eyes with her hand. The darkness helped calm her a little. Enough to keep her from disciplining her first officer where everybody could see. That would be counterproductive. When she looked back up, she thought she saw genuine fear in Chakotay's eyes. She lowered her voice. "Did that favour have anything to do with your surprise?" She was still fuming, but his expression had softened her enough to let it slide.

Chakotay nodded, looking confused.

"I'll let both of you off easy just this once, but be aware that just because you have a date with the captain doesn't mean you're exempt from punishment." Kathryn was painfully aware that she was breaching protocol, allowing personal feelings to govern a command decision. Somehow she couldn't care enough, tough, and that scared her.

She kept to herself after that as much as their situation allowed, trying to make up her mind if that afternoon's decision had been a one-time thing or if she'd have to be exceedingly careful in matters regarding Chakotay. She finally settled on the latter. It wasn't fair to anyone to give Chakotay any kind of preferential treatment.

She tapped her combadge. "Janeway to Tuvok."

"Go ahead, captain."

Hearing the Vulcan's controlled voice usually helped ground her, but this time it made her nervous. "Could I see you in my ready room?"

As was his custom, the Vulcan was prompt, entering only two minutes later. "You wished to see me, captain," he stated when she turned to face him, freshly replicated coffee in hand.

She nodded and invited him to sit with her. He was reluctant, but complied.

She sighed after she had inhaled the scent of her coffee. She knew he wasn't partial to coffee and was unlikely to want anything else to drink, so that method of stalling was out.

"Tuvok, we've been friends for many years now, and I've come to you when I needed my moral compass checked."

Tuvok inclined his head, listening patiently for her question.

She took a deep breath. "As it so happens, I might have to call on your services slightly more often in the foreseeable future."

That made him raise one of his magnificent eyebrows. "Captain?"

Kathryn loved seeing his mind at work. "In your capacity not as security chief, but as my friend, I feel the need to come clean about something. I'm aware that you don't need to know intimate details about my life ..."

If he were human, she was sure Tuvok would have smiled. "Yet I suspect you are about to tell me anyway."

Kathryn felt a grin tugging at her lips. "I hope you don't mind."

He put his hands together. "Not at all, captain."

She took another sip of coffee to put off actually telling her oldest friend about her upcoming date. When she looked back up, he appeared almost curious. "I'm going on a date with Commander Chakotay." She cursed the blush that crept into her cheeks at those words.

Tuvok studied her intently. "Am I correct in assuming that, judging by your biological reaction, you are not referring to your regular dinners with the commander when you say 'date'?"

Kathryn was grateful that he didn't launch right into a speech about why she was in violation of Starfleet regulations. She was sure logic told him that humans craved intimate companionship. "You are correct. Which is also why I might need your help, at least for the time being. I don't want to treat Chakotay any differently from the rest of the officers, but I've noticed that I'm having trouble being impartial where he is concerned."

Tuvok nodded sagely. "A sound assessment. Humans are often governed by sympathies. What would you like me to do?"

Kathryn put down her mug and rested her elbows on her knees. "Tell me whenever you feel like I'm giving him an advantage over someone else. And maybe examine some of my command decisions where he is concerned." She cringed inwardly. She hated admitting to weakness and giving Tuvok permission to question her orders was one of the more humiliating things she'd had to do. Yet, Kathryn knew it was the right thing to do. At least for the time being.

* * *

Chakotay came to regret going to Tom with his favour. Of course he couldn't have foreseen the emergency, but Tom could also have been a little more subtle about refusing to do what Kathryn asked of him. Now she was angry at both of them, and his surprise was probably tainted by the incident. He barely saw Kathryn all day. She stayed in her ready room, alone for the most part, and Chakotay reluctantly decided to give her the space she obviously needed.

He didn't have too long to dwell on that, though, because he was late for his meeting with Tom. When he reached holodeck one, the programme was already running. Tom had dubbed it "Surprise Sigma Six". Chakotay suspected that he'd chosen the name because of the alliteration and not because he'd actually created that many surprise programmes.

He entered the holodeck and the force of the deja vú he experienced actually rooted him to the spot for a moment. He made a mental note never to doubt Tom's holodeck wizardry again. This programme was amazing. He'd stepped through the doors and directly into his own memory of New Earth. There was the shelter, Kathryn's garden ... even the tub. Chakotay had hesitated to include this for Tom to see, but he had to trust the man to keep his word and not blab. Everything looked, felt, and even smelled authentic.

He carefully ventured further, irrationally afraid that the beautiful vista would disappear like a mirage. When he reached the tub, he rested his hands on the rim wistfully, trying to picture what would have happened if they'd faced their feelings sooner.

"That doesn't look like a Starfleet issue tub," he suddenly heard Tom say. He jumped in surprise. He hadn't heard him approach.

Chakotay turned his head. "That's because it's not. I built it." He ran his hands reverently across the smooth wood.

Tom copied him and let out a low whistle. "If we ever get stuck on another uninhabited planet, remind me to be on your team."

They walked over to the shelter. "So, how do you like it?"

Chakotay looked around. "It's fantastic. It almost feels like I'm back there again."

Tom seemed pleased. "I used the telemetry from our databases and combined it with what you gave me. I hope I didn't miss anything."

Chakotay strolled around the camp, trying to compare it to his mental image. It seemed complete enough ... "George!"

Tom furrowed his brow. "Come again?"

"Oh, there was this primate that the captain tried to communicate with. He used to come visit from time to time." He looked around as if trying to spot him after all.

"I can try to add it to the programme ... there are a number of animals already ... another primate shouldn't be too complex," Tom amended, tapping something into his padd.

Chakotay shook his head. "Don't. It wouldn't be the same. This is prefect, let's not change a thing."

Tom shrugged. "Call me if you change your mind." He handed Chakotay the padd. "Computer, save programme and transfer controls to Commander Chakotay."

"Thanks, Tom. I owe you one."

The helmsman flashed a brilliant smile. "I'm sure I'll think of something. But first, I'll go apologise to the captain. Don't worry, I won't give you away."

"You might as well. Just don't go into anything too specific."

Chakotay stayed a while longer, enjoying the warm sunshine on his face. It was easy to forget how wonderful it was to lounge in the sun, simply enjoying nature. He focused on the colours the sun created against his closed eyelids. Maybe this programme could become a regular respite from his duties ... maybe he could share it with Kathryn ...

He was tempted to call her, and had in fact just raised his hand to his combadge, when he remembered that she was probably still mad at him. He hadn't really apologised, after all ...

He sighed. "Computer, end programme."

The scene vanished, leaving Chakotay in a seemingly very dark and cold holodeck.


	8. Chapter 8

**A/N**: This chapter deserves the M rating slightly more than the previous ones. Just saying.

* * *

Kathryn was just going over the reports her department heads had handed in. They were still only at impulse, but she was mostly pleased with everyone's work. The Doctor had given the all-clear about the increased radiation. He was positive that the shields and biofilters were enough to deal with it.

She was just reading up on the state of the inertial dampeners when the door chime went off.

"Come in." She took a sip of coffee. Of course it was cold by now.

"Captain Janeway?" It was Tom's voice, and he sounded more formal than usual. "Could I talk to you?"

She got up and walked over to the replicator. "What about?" she said gruffly. And to the replicator: "Coffee, black!"

Tom had stepped up to the handrail the purpose of which Kathryn still wasn't sure about. He kept his hands behind his back, standing at attention. She hadn't seen that in him in ages.

She suppressed a chuckle. "At ease." Tom's stance relaxed.

"I've come to apologise, captain. I was way out of line refusing to do what you asked of me. I'm not making excuses and I'm prepared to accept punishment."

Kathryn felt her heart go out to Tom, and to the rest of the crew. After all these years, they had really become a family, yet they had always managed to retain their command structure.

She looked at her helmsman sternly. She didn't want him to think he could do anything and get away with it. "Didn't Commander Chakotay already discipline you?"

Tom fidgeted slightly, clearly not wanting to get Chakotay into trouble. "Not exactly," he hedged. "But he did have me do some extra work."

Kathryn smirked. "Is that so? And if I asked you about the nature of that extra work, what would you tell me?"

Tom flushed pink. "That you're in for a great evening tomorrow."

She had expected something like that, so she was able to control her reaction. She nodded at him. "Well, in that case, apology accepted."

"Thank you, captain." Tom's face was still slightly pinker than usual when she dismissed him.

Kathryn allowed the renewed wave of anticipation to take hold of her. Never mind that she should still be slightly angry at Chakotay, right now all she wanted was to question him until he revealed his game plan.

She was still pondering this when she heard Chakotay's voice from her combadge. "Chakotay to Janeway."

"Janeway here," she replied, a giddy smile creeping onto her face.

Chakotay seemed to hesitate. "Is this a good time?"

"Quite good actually. What's up?"

"I'm off duty and I was wondering if you'd eaten anything today." Bless him, he was always looking out for her.

She smiled. "Does coffee count?"

Chakotay let one of his warm caramel chuckles ripple through the combadge, giving her butterflies and sending a jolt of pleasure through her body. What would that chuckle feel like against her ear, against her neck as the handsome Indian man kissed his way down her throat ...

She gave an involuntary gasp, cutting across whatever else Chakotay had said: "I'll be in the mess hall in five minutes."

Kathryn chugged down the coffee that was still slightly too warm and recycled her cup. She was having less and less qualms about letting herself feel what she did for her first officer. Excited as she was, she didn't think to compose her features, and earned a few questioning looks when she strode out of her ready room in such high spirits.

The turbolift seemed way too slow, but finally she reached Deck 2. She spotted Chakotay right away. He was standing at the counter, snacking on some of Neelix's appetizers. She walked over to him, intent on showing him she wasn't angry at him, so she put her hand on his shoulder when she greeted him. The alpha shift had just ended, so the mess hall was packed. In a way, she was glad about that fact, because it stopped her from kissing him. Chakotay hid his surprise at the touch exceedingly well ... or maybe he wasn't surprised at all. He turned and took her hand in his. The urge to kiss him grew stronger yet. He must have noticed, for he let go after only a few seconds.

Ignoring the fact that her stomach was already full of butterflies, Kathryn let Neelix fix her some dinner and led the way to one of the few empty tables. Chakotay regarded her attentively. "What's wrong?"

She smiled. "It's not the best thing to say in a room full of people." When Chakotay looked confused, she added: "Ask me about it later."

He seemed content for the moment. Then he turned serious. "Listen, Kathryn. I'd like to apologise for earlier. It wasn't fair to put Tom on the spot, or to try to keep you in the dark. Would you let me make it up to you?"

Kathryn had just taken a bite of whatever Neelix had cooked. It wasn't as good as their last dinner had been. She held up a hand while she finished chewing - quite a feat considering the texture of the meal - and then: "It's not me you should be apologising to. I was about to rip Tom a new one, as he would say."

He nodded. "I already told him I was sorry, and he accepted. It won't happen again," he assured her.

"Good," said Kathryn. "Then can we put this behind us she enjoy our dinner ... from a distance." She pushed her plate away when she was sure Neelix wasn't looking.

"I actually like it," he said, taking a huge bite to prove his point.

She must have looked disgusted, for he laughed. "You should see your face. It's exquisite. You could think I just told you I wanted a Borg for a pet."

They both chuckled at the image, before she leaned across the table and said in a low voice. "I think he's not looking. Let's make a dash for it."

Chakotay looked over his shoulder at the Talaxian cook. He appeared to be overseeing Naomi's efforts to reorganise his pantry. They both left their plates and stole out of the mess hall ... however well one could steal out of a room with dozens of Starfleet personnel watching. As soon as the turbolift door closed behind them, Kathryn burst out laughing. "That was so silly!" She turned to him in the confined space.

Chakotay joined in. "Still, it does get the blood pumping, doesn't it."

She nodded weakly, looking into his eyes. Their darkness seemed to radiate a heat that was almost impossible to look away from. She didn't notice how it happened, but suddenly they were kissing.

* * *

Chakotay felt immense joy and satisfaction at seeing Kathryn so unburdened and happy. She had been giddy and just the tiniest bit silly, making his heart quicken. When they had reached the turbolift, she had laughed like it had been the first time in ages. Seeing her like this robbed him of all restraint. He brushed a hand over her jawline, fingers tangling in her hair, and closed what little distance there had been between them. Her magnificent blue eyes that had been holding his fluttered shut almost instantly, while she threw herself into the kiss. Chakotay was dimly aware that the turbolift started moving, which was odd, since they hadn't given it any directions. He couldn't seem to care enough to stop kissing Kathryn, though. She was just zipping down his uniform jacket, taking him by surprise. She hadn't been so bold last time. Her cool hands were hesitant at first, but eventually started moving over his clothed chest.

Chakotay was reluctant to reciprocate, unsure how far she'd let him go in this decidedly public setting.

As if having read his mind, Kathryn unsealed her lips from his just long enough to pant: "Maybe we shouldn't do this here."

Chakotay gave a moan that was meant to signal agreement, but neither of them made any effort to stop. He was already very hard, wanting nothing more than to bury himself in her warmth, and he could tell by the way her hands ventured further down that she knew and approved. She leaned against him, pushing him into the turbolift wall, before she unzipped his pants and slipped her hand inside. Chakotay let his head fall back against the wall. Her touch on his heated flesh felt so unbelievably good!

Somewhere inside his lust-addled mind there was something that prompted him to gasp "Halt turbolift", before he was completely engulfed in ecstasy. He desperately wished for her uniform to have a skirt.

She seemed to be thinking along the same lines, but then her lips were back on his, one hand resting between his shoulder blades while the other one started moving in sure and steady strokes, wringing another moan from his busy lips.

Chakotay finally gave his own hands free rein, feeling them slide down Kathryn's shoulders, over her back ... She had just increased her speed, and he reacted instinctively by grabbing her buttocks and pulling her closer. She moaned softly against his lips, breaking their kiss. Chakotay used that moment to swoop in and nibble at her exposed neck, earning an exquisite sound somewhere between a moan and a purr.

His lips curled up in a mischievous grin. "Your place or mine?" he breathed into her ear, when the pressure building in him started to get almost painful. He knew he was taking a risk, but it was getting harder and harder to resist the urge to spin her around and take her against the turbolift wall.

Kathryn chuckled throatily at the clichéd phrase, and withdrew her hand from his trousers. "Computer, Deck 3." She was very flushed, Chakotay noted, her lips slightly swollen and red. Her hair hung in perfect disarray around her shoulders, and her eyes were brighter than he'd ever seen them.

He raised his hand to her face once again. "You are so beautiful," he intoned reverently.

She didn't shy away from the compliment, but met his eyes squarely and smiled. Chakotay leaned in to kiss her again, but the turbolift was slowing, so he removed his uniform jacket and draped it over his arm in an attempt to hide his erection. Kathryn chuckled at that, but he was glad he'd done it, since the doors opened at that moment and revealed Harry Kim whose friendly grin changed to a look of confusion when he saw his commanding officers in such a dishevelled state. "Good evening, Harry," Kathryn said in her best effort at nonchalance. "If you'll excuse us."

With that, she put her hand on Chakotay's back and almost pushed him out. Chakotay cast a backward glance at Harry, who had frozen on the threshold.

They made their way to Kathryn's quarters without meeting anyone else. She had barely keyed in her code when Chakotay slid his arms around her waist, kissing her neck. They stumbled inside, Chakotay's jacket hitting the ground immediately. He unzipped her uniform and carefully pushed it down her arms. They regarded each other slightly sheepishly while they each removed their turtlenecks. These uniforms simply had too many layers. The shared laughter that followed gave them a second to breathe, and Kathryn bent down to pick up their clothes. "I bet it'll be all over the ship tomorrow," she smiled.

Chakotay grinned, using the break to get his breathing under control. "You don't think he'll keep it to himself?"

Kathryn shot him a disbelieving glance. "Would you?"

He had to admit that he would at least be tempted to talk about it, and inclined his head to the side to concede his point.

She chuckled, her eyes warm and fond as she referred to Harry. "I doubt there's been much in the way of gossip lately. This might keep them entertained for a while."

She went to her cabinet to pick up the stoppered cider bottle, and took a swig from it. Chakotay watched her curiously. She seemed so comfortable about living their budding relationship out in the open. It was refreshing, if a little scary.


	9. Chapter 9

**A/N: **Be warned, people. This chapter is almost exclusively smut. You probably shouldn't read it if you're under 16 ... I guess.

As for the next chapters, there will most likely be just two more. I don't want to let it go on too long. As always, please read and review.

* * *

She rejoined him and handed him the bottle. He took a drink from it, then placed it on Kathryn's desk, before he caught her in his arms and reconnected their lips, pouring all his passion into the kiss. She responded eagerly, backing against the desk and pulling him along with her. Her hands found his waistband and tugged at his undershirt, removing it swiftly with his help. He briefly wished that the holographic sunshine earlier could have given him a tan, but her appreciation was clear nonetheless.

* * *

She ran her fingers over the smooth bronze skin of his chest and stomach. She had barely ever seen him topless, and most of that had been in Sickbay, when she had been too distracted to notice how sculpted his muscles were. Now she could barely get enough of the commander's skin underneath her hands. He let her be, caressing her hair and face, running his own hands along her bare arms, sending the most pleasant of shivers down her spine. Overwhelmed by her desire to feel more of his skin on hers, she unbuttoned her trousers, watching Chakotay catch his breath as he hurried to copy her. As soon as they had stepped out of their slacks, he surprised her by gripping her thighs and lifting her onto the desk. She felt her blood boil pleasantly at the sensation of his strong hands on her bare skin and the very obvious erection that his move brought to rest against her crotch. She was slightly embarrassed at the moisture that had gathered there. Her flushed face turned up to his. He looked equally as breathless and hot. She nodded at him, and it seemed like that was all the invitation he needed. He braced himself against her shoulder, freed his member from its confines and slid into her in one smooth movement without bothering to remove her briefs.

Kathryn could hardly believe the sound that fought its way out of her throat. For the first time in her life aboard Voyager she hoped that the walls and doors were soundproof.

* * *

Chakotay fought to retain his self control when he felt Kathryn's wet warmth envelop him. She gave the most delicious moan, pushing him dangerously close to the edge. To reduce friction, and perhaps last longer, he leaned forward, gently pushing her down until she was almost lying on the desk, with his hands supporting him on either side. He groaned with pleasure when she locked her legs around his waist, slung her arms around his neck, and reclaimed his lips. Following an intuition, he grabbed her thighs again and picked her up almost effortlessly, eliciting a high yelp and a chuckle that made him smile happily around her lips. He had never actually been in her bedroom, but there was a first time for everything. He guessed he'd have time enough to look around later. She stopped kissing him so he could see where he was walking, but what she did do was so much more distracting. Using her arms and legs for support, she rose very slowly on his shaft, then lowered herself again, making it necessary for Chakotay to lean against a wall not far from the bed. His legs were shaking too violently from the wonderful sensations Kathryn was making him feel to be trusted to carry both their weight.

Her face took on a worried expression. "Am I too heavy for you?"

He had to laugh, but it was tinged with a moan. "It's not that. It's what you just did ..."

It was her turn to grin wickedly. "This?" She repeated the movement, drawing a gasping groan from his throat that almost made him feel sorry for himself. " ... this," he agreed, and allowed his eyes to flutter shut, while white hot lightning bolts of rapture passed through him. He knew he should be concerned with her pleasure as well, but he was so engulfed in the sensations that he hardly cared that his hands started guiding her up and down more quickly, or that his peak was fast approaching.

* * *

Kathryn loved seeing the joy she could bring her second in command, although this particular technique might be a bit too effective, judging by the way Chakotay's breath quickened, coming in laboured pants. She deliberately slowed her rhythm, trying to level the playing field, as it were. She focused on feeling the length of his shaft penetrate her, concentrated on his scent that filled her head and made her heart skip a beat. Her legs already ached; she wasn't used to this kind of physical exertion. Still, she soon felt the familiar gathering and tightening in her belly that heralded her orgasm. She smiled and closed her eyes, her lips tasting Chakotay's neck. The commander had started bucking his hips which was making her job more difficult, but she just went with it, speeding up. Their faces were barely an inch apart, both covered in sweat and panting heavily. She had given up on trying to be quiet a while back and was dimly aware that she gasped out his name more than once. Finally, she felt Chakotay spasm in orgasm, but she wasn't far behind, throwing her head back in exhausted bliss. He was still holding her tightly, but now he carefully lowered himself onto the floor, taking her with him. She put her head onto his shoulder, enjoying the way their bodies fit together. Kathryn felt her breath gradually return to normal while she languidly ran her fingers over his neck and back.

She had never guessed that they'd become intimate so soon, but somehow it didn't feel soon, but rather like they'd finally found each other again after a long time. She suddenly felt very tired, and despite their awkward position on the floor, she was just nodding off when Chakotay stirred underneath her, jolting her awake.

She inhaled deeply, making a contented noise. He smoothed back her hair that was clinging to her face, and kissed her forehead tenderly. She couldn't remember when she'd last felt so safe and so relaxed. She shifted her head slightly to meet his lips with hers, a tired smile spreading in the wake of their kiss. "That was a long day," she murmured sleepily.

Chakotay caught her eyes, hand still stroking her hair gently. "Do you want me to leave?"

She thought for a second. "No."

They had both been fairly tired, still it taken them a while to find sleep. Kathryn smiled wistfully as she relished the feeling of Chakotay's arm around her waist. She felt exhausted and more than a little reluctant to go to the bridge, but her sense of duty won out over her desire to sleep. She turned around to face Chakotay, who seemed to be asleep. She brought her left hand up to touch his face. His eyes opened almost immediately, the expression on his face one of joyful realisation.

"I have to get ready for my shift," she said regretfully.

He ran his hand up her body under her undershirt, pulling her closer. "Right now?" His voice was velvety and his eyes already burned with passion. She chuckled, even as she felt her body respond to him. With a sinuous movement, she straddled him, her hands on his chest. She leaned down to kiss him, feeling his lips open immediately. Kathryn tried to keep the kiss light and teasing, but her own desire prevented her from following through. When she became aware of what she was doing, she had already moved her briefs out of the way and guided his shaft inside. Great, she chided herself, but let's make it a quick one.

* * *

Before Chakotay had even really grasped what was happening, she already had him panting again. This woman just continued to surprise him. He didn't have time to dwell on that though, for his senses demanded his attention. She was still kissing him, moving her hips slowly but forcefully, hazing his mind. His hands came up to roam her skin, wishing she had removed her shirt. Emboldened by his arousal, he slipped one of his hands around underneath the fabric to touch her breast. Kathryn gasped at the contact and increased her speed. He guessed she was already quite close, so he gave up on trying to delay his own climax. The wave of pleasure hit them almost simultaneously, crushing them under delicious fulfilment with unwithstandable force.

Kathryn gave him another deep, passionate kiss, then got up with obvious regret on her face. "I really wish I could stay," she said, already pulling off her clothes while she headed for the bathroom. Chakotay gladly watched her graceful body until she disappeared through the door. Moments later, the screech of the sonic shower filled the room, and Chakotay decided to find out what time it was.

The computer informed him that it was barely half past four in the morning. He briefly contemplated going back to sleep, but decided against it. He might be off duty, but he'd be damned if he couldn't find something to do.

* * *

Kathryn thoroughly enjoyed her sonic shower, glad to feel the pulses cleanse her skin of sweat and other fluids. She still couldn't really get her head around the fact that she'd slept with Chakotay ... twice.

In a way, though, it might be good that it had happened so soon. She'd grown almost anxious whenever she'd met the commander, because the sexual tension between them had just become too intense. Hopefully, they'd gotten rid of the worst of that last night.

She felt a rush of excitement when she remembered the date they had scheduled for that night. Just a bit more than fifteen hours of unbearable anticipation ... what could go wrong?

Kathryn finished her routine and exited the bathroom, finding Chakotay already fully clothed. She hurried to get dressed as well, feeling his eyes appraising her. He was slightly flushed when she turned to him in her uniform.

"Care to join me for breakfast?", he said, extending his arm. She grinned and took it. She wasn't a breakfast person, but she had some time left before her shift.

As they took the turbolift up to the mess hall, Kathryn experienced a rather vivid flashback of last night's turbolift ride. By the time the lift stopped, she had gotten to the part where she had seriously contemplated getting down on her knees and ...

Kathryn felt quite sure that her face was as red as her uniform when they left the lift, still walking rather closely together.

The mess hall doors slid open, revealing some of the usual suspects already gathered there. Tuvok sat in a corner by himself, drinking tea and studying a padd. When he spotted them, he raised an eyebrow, but went straight back to reading. Harry and Tom were a tiny bit less subtle. Harry was the first to see them enter, and immediately flushed crimson in embarrassment, which alerted Tom who surreptitiously gazed over his shoulder. Kathryn was quite certain that his expression of careful disinterest was rehearsed. Too bad they hadn't bet anything on Harry spilling the beans. She exchanged a look with Chakotay that communicated just that, and he chuckled merrily.

Kathryn chose some breakfast foods from the counter at random, and had Neelix pour her some coffee. The Talaxian seemed very fidgety, so she guessed the news had reached him, too. She made a mental note of coming up with a way to make it official.

They sat down, and Kathryn couldn't help grinning in triumph. "I knew Harry wouldn't keep quiet on that."

Chakotay laughed into his coffee. "To be fair, he probably thought we'd been possessed by some alien lifeforms making us act irresponsibly."

She chuckled. "And with our track record for running into weird anomalies, who can blame him."

They enjoyed their breakfast together, laughing and joking, watched by many. When Kathryn discovered that it was already five o'clock, she leaned across the table again. "We have to decide how we're going to handle this," she said, suddenly serious.

Chakotay nodded. "I think you should take the lead on that. I'll go along with pretty much anything."

She grinned wickedly, touching his shoulder affectionately. "I'll remember that for tonight."

"You better." His smirk was as rare as it was hot.

She was tempted to lean in and kiss him, but curbed that impulse. "Enjoy your day off."

She couldn't shake the grin that seemed plastered onto her face, so she just went with it, greeting the night shift in much higher spirits than usual.


	10. Chapter 10

**A/N**: Well, guys, you know how it is. I said I'd make this story more than 10 chapters long, but I think I'll have to end it here. I was really thrilled by all your reviews. They really kept me writing. Although this was my first Voyager story, I doubt that it'll be my last. :)

* * *

The doors had barely shut behind Kathryn, when Chakotay was already assailed by a very curious Tom, with Harry trailing behind him, looking slightly uncomfortable.

"Spill," was the only thing Tom said as he took the seat Kathryn had just vacated. He pulled Harry down onto the chair next to him, and they both looked at their superior officer expectantly.

Chakotay almost laughed. "Excuse me?"

Tom wasn't known for subtlety, and this marked no exception. "Harry here thinks there's something going on between you and the captain. The whole ship's talking about it."

Harry flushed a deep red at Tom's words and elbowed his friend in the side with enough force to make him grunt.

The commander raised an eyebrow. He was trying - and probably failing - to hide his amusement. "And just how is it that the whole ship knows about this, Mr Kim?"

The ensign squirmed miserably in his chair. "I'm sorry, commander. I wasn't sure what I was seeing, so I ... reported it to -"

"Me," Tom interrupted. "He was just doing his duty, commander. There have been too many weird body snatcher type aliens running around for us not to view our shipmates with a healthy dose of paranoia."

Chakotay had to smile when he remembered that Kathryn had said something similar earlier. "I suppose you're right. Well done on keeping Voyager safe." He toasted the young officers with his coffee, eyes twinkling with humour.

Tom already knew about his date with Kathryn, of course, and he quickly weighed the pros and cons of telling them both about what else had transpired. He came up with an overwhelming majority of cons, so he emptied his cup and rose from his chair.

"If you'll excuse me, gentlemen," he grinned, devilishly pleased at leaving them with little to no information. He felt bad, though, and added: "I've got a date to prepare for."

His grin spread further as he heard Tom and Harry whisper excitedly behind his back on his way out of the mess hall.

* * *

She listened to the minutiae of the shift, nodding gratefully when she heard that there hadn't been any incidents. By the time the ensign in charge had finished her report, the rest of the day shift had arrived and relieved their counterparts. She did the same, releasing the ensign into a much-deserved home time.

Kathryn was well aware of all the eyes on her, but waited until everyone but the senior officers had left, before she addressed the issue. "Mr Paris, shouldn't you pay more attention to our course than to me?"

"Yes, ma'am!" He sounded slightly cocky, but then again, when didn't he?

She managed to keep everyone more or less focused on their work until about 1500 hours, when the conversation on the bridge turned to after-hours activities. Harry mentioned that he was going to check the holodeck usage timetable, hoping to score a slot for some sports programme.

Tom's smirk was obvious in his voice when he replied. "I think you'll find that you're out of luck tonight, Harry. _Somebody_ has reserved quite a lot of holodeck time."

Harry sighed. "Who is it? Maybe I can persuade them to trade."

Kathryn chuckled. "I'm afraid Tom's right, Harry. You're out of luck. I wouldn't trade it for the world." She knew that she'd opened the door to Tom's questions with that, but she kind of wanted to share this with her family.

Tom's reaction was like she'd predicted. "Oh, really, captain? What do you have planned for tonight, if I may ask?"

She grinned. "You may, but I don't know. Commander Chakotay wouldn't tell me. You wouldn't happen to know anything about it, would you, Tom?"

Tom turned around to face her. "Only if you give me an order."

She shook her head. "That wouldn't be very fair. I'll have to let him surprise me."

Tom and Harry went back to discussing alternative means of entertainment for their respective Saturday nights. She soon tuned out, too excited to listen to them. She had to take a trip to astrometrics shortly thereafter, and that helped occupy her mind. Seven had devised a slightly altered route and wanted Kathryn's approval. The captain suggested a few minor changes but told her to send the revised course to the helm right away.

When she checked the chronometer next, she felt her heart skip a beat. Her shift had ended while she had been talking to Seven, and she had just enough time to race back to her quarters and stress about what to wear. She finally settled on a sleeveless red velvet dress she'd worn to a party once. She freshened up, touched up her lipstick, and put on some eyeliner, before running a brush through her hair.

She was quite pleased with the result, and dearly hoped that she was dressed properly for whatever Chakotay had planned. Kathryn had barely finished that thought, when the doorbell rang. She grabbed an elastic hair tie from the dresser, then went to open the door. It wasn't necessary, of course, but it felt more polite than yelling 'come in!' from across the room.

Chakotay was dressed in one of the ridiculous vests he'd worn in his Maquis days, with a coarse white shirt underneath. His long black trousers and heavy boots suggested hiking, and she suddenly felt silly in her outfit.

She invited him in, eyeing his attire more obviously as he stepped inside. "Just tell me this. Do I need to change?"

Chakotay laughed his soft chocolate laugh that always resonated deep within her body. He caught her eye and her hand. "You're perfect."

His words made her smile. "Let's go then." Inviting Chakotay in had been horrendously futile, but she hoped he'd chalk it up to nerves.

Kathryn slipped the hair tie over her wrist, then she linked arms with Chakotay, enjoying the way he put his free hand on hers. Anyone passing them in the corridors now would be able to tell that there was something going on between them, and in the strangest way, Kathryn wanted them to.

Kathryn had already deduced that Chakotay was leading her to the holodeck, because ... where else would they go on a date?

She stood very close to him on the turbolift, one arm draped around his hips. She was getting really comfortable with this.

When they arrived in front of the huge double doors, Chakotay turned to her and grinned one of the brightest grins she'd seen in ages. "Ready?" He looked nervous, and hopeful, but also proud, and excited.

Kathryn felt his nervousness roll off him. It was infectious, and she raised her clasped hands up in front of her face. She would finally see what he had been keeping from her for the last few days. She'd come up with a million theories, of course, but now she was actively trying to let go of her expectations.

"Yes." Her voice sounded impatient even to her own ears.

"Close your eyes," she heard him say next to her, but she just raised an eyebrow at him, daring him to repeat that.

He chuckled. "Fair enough. Computer, run program Surprise Sigma Six."

Her amusement won out over her anticipation for the moment. "Surprise Sigma Six," she repeated with a grin.

He just held out his hand, though, and led her through the opening holodeck doors.

Everything she'd been about to say slipped out of her mind the second she caught the first whiff of familiar air.

It was like stepping into one of the few recurring dreams she had that wasn't marked by failure, loss, and death. She wasn't even trying to hide her joy at seeing their home on New Earth again.

"Chakotay," she whispered, letting go of his hand to take a few steps into the programme. They were standing in the forest surrounding their shelter. She could already glimpse it in the bright light filtering through the leaves.

Overcome with memory, she meandered between the trees, touching the bark of this, the low-hanging branches of that one. She had all but forgotten that she wasn't alone, when Chakotay's gentle touch on her waist brought her back to reality. Or the representation of reality, at least. She gazed up at him, amazed affection clouding her vision slightly. "I never thought I'd see this again."

Chakotay's smile was radiant, his dark eyes warm. "Permission to show you the rest of it, Captain?"

The teasing edge in his voice reminded Kathryn of the reservations she'd had regarding this relationship back on that planet. Of all the opportunities they'd wasted - she'd wasted - by waiting this long. She pushed that pain down and met Chakotay's eyes with a cocky grin. "You know what I always say: When you're on the holodeck with the captain, there are two rules to observe. One, leave your rank at the door."

His smile stretched, dimples showing in his tanned cheeks, as he put his hands on his hips. "And two?"

She laughed and hooked her arm through his, leading him through the trees and into the clearing.


End file.
